Saturday, May 26, 2012

I think it will work

From the internet, someone, somewhere wrote...

Dear Prime Minister,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing Australia 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan..

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
They MUST buy a new Australian car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances!

Grumpies of the World Unite

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way :
The pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC, a TV, radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals :
would get cold food,
be left all alone and unsupervised.
have lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week.
live in a tiny room and pay $600.00 per week and
have no hope of ever getting out.


  1. "Pay them $1 million each severance for early retirement"
    I like that bit - but I'm not sure I qualify for "early" - still working.

  2. You do know it isn't that bad in nursing homes.......but at the same time this is funny