Thursday, December 14, 2017

No digital voting in 'Straya'

So we can't have digital voting in 'Straya because the Russian hackers will do our voting for us.
Apparently some Russian bloke with a thick heavy accent, thick beard and dark glasses turned up at the voting booth saying his name was Wang Xiu Ying. He was handed a voting form even though he was clearly not female, or Chinese for that matter. But not to worry, he is quite entitled to self identify; and who are we to question him, er, her?
So digital voting is out because our 'Strayan IT experts (located in, well I can't tell you - their location is a secret, but I'm sure you can guess.) cannot guarantee that the voting system will not be hacked.
But think about the advantages of digital voting. On voting day there is no need to change out of your PJs, or get outa bed even. No going downtown. No jostling with the how to vote crowd. No sausage sizzle (dayum!).
No siree, to cast your valid vote in the exercise of the freedoms of Western democracy all you have to do is ask your grandkids to show you how.
At least the Russians would have a better idea of the candidates than most 'Strayans.
But wait, there's more. Maybe we should accept the Chinese model of interference in 'Strayan politics - bribe all the politicians. Yep, Nup. I can't see that catching on, what politician in their right mind would take that filthy Chinese Yuan?
I think the Chinese should stick to what they do best - pushing up Sid-der-nee housing prices, or buying up all those vast prime cattle properties to secure future beef production for their people - rather than attempting to bribe our honest politicians.
Disclosure: My grandmother was Chinese.

No comments:

Post a Comment